I am rarely in Bournemouth – it is far less rad than it’s ‘B neighbour’ down the road, Brighton. So when you sit down and do the math it’s not only worse but also further away, which can’t be good business whichever way you look at it.

Of course, if you happen to be elderly and live in Lyme Regis then Bournemouth is better and nearer, but elderly people don’t usually do the math because their minds have turned to shortbread, and will opt to stay home instead. So it doesn’t really matter about that.

If you’re not the sort of person who likes to go to a nightclub at 6pm your nightlife options in Bournemouth are limited. I am not the sort of person who likes to go to a nightclub at 6pm, and instead head to Sixty Million Postcards, one of a handful of bars that aren’t Yates Wine Lodges.

As you know, at SDTGBG we are big fans of American bar culture. Stale odours, grafitti’d toilets, stale, grafitti’d ex-servicemen – it’s all good. And ok, Sixty Million Postcards doesn’t have any of these, but it is dark, does have indie rock playing slightly too loud and booths to sit in, plus the mandatory array of crap stuck all over the walls.

What it doesn’t have, along with the aforementioned stale odour and grafitti, is anything even remotely American on tap. It’s like if you went to the annual NFL match at Wembley, but instead of playing American football they just played soccer with some silly shoulder pads on. Which kind of ruins the whole thing.

Ok, so it’s an American theme bar, not an American bar, and US draught beer is probably difficult and expensive to get hold of. At least, it was – Brooklyn lager is on tap at most kindergartens nowadays.

The whole experience is a bit like throwing a Christmas party in July and wondering why it doesn’t really feel like Christmas. It’s still kind of fun though, like throwing a Christmas party in July.